Sunday, July 28, 2013

THE CONJURING

My wife keeps telling me I need to do some movie reviews on my blog. I need to do SOMETHING on my blog.

So here it goes.

THE CONJURING.

What the balls?!

I explained it to a couple people this way... "Before I saw The Conjuring I only knew that a person could defecate in one way. After seeing The Conjuring, I realized that a man or woman is actually able to loose himself free of yesterday's dinner in several different ways. I'm too much of a gentleman to go any further." I'm not talking about the plot of the movie, but about the other grown men and women jumping out of their seats.

I've probably seen 2000 horror movies in my life. The Conjuring is in the top 5 scariest I've ever seen, and it may be Top 2 (the first being the original Evil Dead, and probably always will be, the scene when she is naming the playing cards will always scare the hell out of me).

When a certain main character "turns" near the end of The Conjuring, scampering about the underside of the house with a pair of scissors, like some kind of feral beast, I was actually affected, and I can't be sure why. I'm never affected by horror movies, so I'm thinking that it hit home in some sort of primordial soup at the back of my brain. It really got me in the bollocks.

I think the thing that sets this movie apart from others in this well-worn trope is that the actors were near perfect and everybody had a purpose. Norma Bates, Nightowl, the annoying wife from Six Feet Under, and the TPS Report guy.... all were spot on. Even the smaller roles (such as the comedic jabs from the local cop) totally sold the story. And the doll... dammit that doll is terrifying. Can she please get her own spinoff?

The scares, by the halfway point, are nearly every minute or two. My wife just about ripped the skin of my forearm off. We lost half our popcorn to the floor. I'm pretty sure she missed most of the movie because her eyes were covered.

As for whether this is really a TRUE STORY or not. I call bull on that one, but that doesn't take away from the fact that it was a helluva ride. 5 out of 5 stars.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

FEATURED AUTHOR: REBECCA BESSER

I've been trying to decide what I should actually do with this blog for sometime. So here's my idea... I got myself a Kindle last year and I've been just devouring books in 2012 and 2013, many of which are indie horror writers like myself, who I think have a special set of talents in that field.

One such author is Rebecca Besser, who I first took note of in an anthology by Norgus Press; one that I was also in, called "Strange Tales." She had this really oddball story in there and it totally drew me in. So when I saw that she had released a novel called "Nurse Blood," which included an ultra sexy nurse on the cover, presumably the titular character who will be putting the serious hurt on people, I couldn't resist.

"Nurse Blood" was unexpected for me. I expected the typical hack'n'slash gore that I have come to find a standard in the horror genre, particularly with the indie markets. But it was much more than that. There was very little graphic violence and gore in this book, and it worked really well with that. "Nurse Blood" is more of a thriller to me, almost... about a group of organ harvesters, one of of whom is Sonya (AKA Nurse Blood). They backstab, plot, and plan behind each other's back. They use sex, power, and threats to achieve their ends. Nurse Blood herself is at the center of the tale, sort of the epicenter of all this human maneuvering.

Their hope is to make the Big Score, to harvest an entire family. Great premise, and it delivered in spades! It was one of those I-Wish-I-Had-Come-Up-With-That-Plot books that we read once in awhile. Organ harvesting is a great stage for bits of comedy, a bit of the old nasty gore, and plenty of room for nail-biting.

I won't give away much more, but you'll have to read it for yourself.

Rebeccas Besser is a fantastic author and I can't wait to read more from her!! Check out Nurse Blood on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Nurse-Blood-ebook/dp/B00AJ52CM0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1357491690&sr=8-1&keywords=nurse+blood+besser